Emergency brain surgery was never in the plans or on my radar, but on Monday morning, that is what happened.

A few months ago I began having strange symptoms. I would forget words, lose my thoughts, or say something totally different from what I meant to. It was concerning, but I chalked it up to the fact that I am 47 and in the middle of perimenopause. Then suddenly, if I tried to type or write things, all the wrong words would come out – sometimes complete gibberish. In my mind, I knew what I was trying to get out on paper or on the keyboard, but my body wouldn’t cooperate. It was getting progressively worse, to the point where it was becoming difficult to carry on a conversation with someone. Suddenly, I couldn’t read out loud – the wrong words and sounds would come out of my mouth. I couldn’t even sing along with a song, even though I knew all the words. I was getting very scared. I am also a fourth grade language arts teacher. How was I going to teach if I couldn’t talk, write, or read aloud to my students?

It was then that I finally reached out for help. For a little more background, four years ago we felt strongly prompted to move to San Antonio, Texas, but it was almost impossible to get a house. We ended up with only one choice – a run down, needed all the work and repairs house, that just happened to be 0.3 miles from the San Antonio Temple, and in the same ward as an amazing Neurosurgeon, Don Hilton. Not only is he a renowned neurosurgeon, but he and his wife are  some of the kindest people I have ever met and have become good friends. It was to Dr. Hilton that I reached out to for advice.

At the time I messaged him, we were both out of town, and so we made plans for me to be seen and get a brain MRI the next week. But then my symptoms got worse. Suddenly, I could not answer a direct question. If it had a specific answer, I couldn’t say it – like when my husband asked me what time we should begin driving back to Texas. All I wanted to say was 6 am, but after three minutes of trying to say it, I gave up.  I was terrified. I felt as if I was suddenly trapped inside my head.

So, on Sunday, July 27^th, when we were back in Texas, I texted Bro Hilton again (even though I knew he was still in Utah) to tell him how things were even worse. He called my husband and had him take me to the emergency room. And because of the amazing man he is, he had called the hospital, the doctor on call, and everything was set up for me to start getting help from the first moments I was there, starting with a brain CT, and followed by a brain MRI. Scarily, by the time I was at the hospital, I could not even tell people my name if they asked it, and everyone at the hospital asks your name and date of birth. I would try so hard to answer, but usually would have to have my husband answer for me.

The scans showed that I had a walnut sized mass on my left frontal lobe – the communication center of the brain. Soon, I was getting more MRI’s, was checked into the hospital and were so grateful for the start of answers so that we could do something. 

As we sat in my hospital room, we looked out the window and saw the San Antonio Temple, which was such a comfort.  In fact, on Sunday morning, as we were heading to the ER, this post popped into my Instagram feed from President Eyring: 

“Since the beginning, the tests have not been easy. We face trials that come from having mortal bodies. All of us live in a world where Satan’s war against truth and against our personal happiness is becoming more intense. The world and your life can seem to you to be in increasing commotion.

My reassurance is this: the loving God who allowed these tests for you also designed a sure way to pass through them.

Heavenly Father so loved the world that He sent His Beloved Son to help us. His Son, Jesus Christ, gave His life for us. Jesus Christ bore in Gethsemane and on the cross the weight of all our sins.

He experienced all the sorrows, the pains, and the effects of our sins so that He could comfort and strengthen us through every test in life.

As this truth sinks deep into your heart, may your faith in Him increase, may you feel more hope and optimism, and may you feel the pure love of Christ for others and for yourself.”

Later that night, our dear friend, Dr. Hilton, came straight from the airport to the hospital and showed us the MRI. And then he called his partner, Dr. Bogaev, an amazing brain surgeon (on a Sunday night no less) and had him look at things, and then called to tell us that I would be having brain surgery the next morning. I was so relieved that there was an answer for what was happening to me, and although it happened so fast that it felt unreal, my husband and I know that we moved to the exact house we did so that we would know Dr. Hilton so that he could save my life and I could get the help I needed.  

The surgery went perfectly, I am recovering well, and although I have a lot of healing to do, and they are still searching for answers, we are one step closer.  In fact, subsequent scans identified a likely origin mass in my lungs, and we are waiting to hear pathology results.  The good news is that my pain is under control, I am regaining my ability to speak, even if it is only coming back slowly because of swelling on the brain.

Since everything started on Sunday, I have been covered with the prayers, the ministering efforts of those around me and the tender mercies of the Lord. In fact, there has never been a “why me” moment, because the evidences of the Lord’s hand in things to prepare me for this experience is so evident. It is like a map of my life lit up that showed all the miracles leading up to now. And the outpouring of love, prayers and support has truly been overwhelmingly, but exactly what our family truly needs as we move forward with this unexpected health journey we are on.

PS. This message from my my friend, Becky, was the perfect thing to make Kevin and I laugh.