Ever since my cancer decided to spread so terribly earlier this year, the fact that I have many new tumors in my brain (which had actually been tumor free) was weighing on me. For good reason, we were all concerned about it, but the treatment kept getting delayed. In the meantime, we kept praying that things would come together and trust in the Lord and His timing. I was often reminded of the fact that inviting Christ into my life and choosing to walk with Him, means that I am never alone. I especially love this quote by Sister Anette Dennis from the General Primary Presidency:

“As you choose to abide in the Savior, He will abide in you, and you need never walk alone no matter where you go or what you do in this life.”

Like I mentioned before, things for treating my now 13 brain tumors kept getting delayed, mostly because of the neurologist that we were referred to for the gamma knife procedure. After two months of delays, and multiple other red flags, my amazing radiation oncologist, decided we should drop him and go another way. Instead, I ended up with a fabulous new neurologist who actually works in the same group with my brain surgeon and other neurologist (because everybody needs at least three neurologists, right? 😂).

Once we had the new doctor involved, things moved very quickly – hallelujah! And so on Monday, Kevin and I were up at 3:15 am so that we could check in at the hospital across town by 4:15 am for my gamma knife treatment. Gamma Knife is a specialized brain radiation with my radiation oncologist working side by side with my neurologist as they spot treated each of the 13 tumors in my brain using this amazing sci-fi technology.

Once I was checked in, they took me back and I had a brand new MRI for the doctors to have real time info to see what they were working with, they planned the treatment right there, and by 8am I was in the machine. Luckily there weren’t any new tumors, and so they only had the 13 to deal with.

Before they put me in the machine, they knocked me out for a little bit and screwed the headframe to my scull and did one last CT to align everything. My body doesn’t love anesthesia and it wore off before I was in the machine for 15 minutes, and so I was wide awake – I actually woke up about 10 minutes into the treatment very confused. I pushed the button in my hand and may have set off an alarm. Oops. Oh well, because it allowed them to start the 4 hours of podcasts I had set up in my phone to listen to.

I was in the machine receiving treatment for about 5 hours, and by hour four, my podcasts had all finished and I was dying – trapped in the crazy machine, unable to move, and so bored . After a few attempts, I managed to get SIRI to listen and play me some music (Frank Sinatra to be exact), which got me through the last 45 minutes .

Once it was over, they unscrewed the headframe from my scull which had been holding me in place in the machine and was in recovery for bit. (Yes, I had bolts in my skull . I think that may have actually been the worst part – feeling/hearing them unbolt my skull.) They said that everything went perfectly, they treated all 13 tumors, and in six weeks we follow up to see the results. Miracles all around, for sure!!! My care team and doctors were spectacular, and I couldn’t be more grateful for all the prayers that made this come together. So many miracles.

Once Kevin was able to take me home, all I wanted was a good cheeseburger. I was starving!!! Kevin got me Shake Shack for the win.

Once I was home, I rested and had my kids watch “Sleepless in Seattle” with me – good times . I had to keep this bandage on my head for the first two days, and I have strange marks from the bolts on my forehead, and some bruising, but they should heal.

And so, yes, HUGE checkmark for my treatment. From now on, unless the unforeseen happens, I will just continue with my chemo infusions every three weeks. It will be a slow road to get rid of all the many, many other tumors in my body, but I have hope. The main tumor in my lung, the one that started this whole thing, has finally started to shrink with the Enhertu. So it may be a slow road, but we will win this race. And I am not alone on this road – I am walking with Jesus.