Life is so interesting – how it takes you to the highest highs and the lowest lows, just like a rollercoaster. That is how I feel right now, both emotionally and physically, and so it is wonderful to have reminders like this quote by John Bytheway, “Someone infinitely smarter than I am came up with the plan, and everything is unfolding as it should.”

Some days it is especially important to remember that I am being watched over and guided by a loving Father in Heaven and His son, Jesus Christ. Recently, I went to a special wig salon because I was given a prescription for a wig. Although I can hide it pretty well, I have lost about three fourths of my hair through thinning from chemo, and from the large bald patches from my brain radiation.

I tried wearing the wig this past Sunday, and it made me very emotional, for many reasons. One reason is that it is so close to my actual hair and how it used to be, that it felt like reality smacked me in the face. Another reason, was that I was very self-conscious about it – it was strange and different. And lastly, it was so hard to put on (after getting it in seconds at the salon, at home it took me a very frustrating 30 minutes), and it was uncomfortable, especially because it presses on the large scar from my brain surgery. (If you look carefully at the picture, you can see the scar coming straight up from my earbud – a little darker.)

But on the very same day that I was dealing with all the emotions from the wig, I also had a fantastic high of having Christine, one of my college roommates that I haven’t seen in person in too many years to count, come and spend the afternoon and evening with us. We had her over for dinner and we talked and laughed for hours. It was so fun and such an amazing blessing!!

That same evening, there was a special devotional for the service missionaries and their parents, and it was wonderful to attend. Definitely a wonderful reminder of Derek’s purpose and calling as a missionary, and we left very uplifted.

Speaking of Derek’s service, on Monday, he was able to volunteer and serve at the Giving Machine that is at the Pearl for a few weeks. We are huge fans of the giving machine, and he loved getting to help people there.

Derek has also been filling in to take me on my morning walks, and when it happens on the days when I am feeling a bit better, the two of us will “race” as we go opposite ways around the loop, and see who can get to the middle first. It always makes him laugh when I yell to him that I am winning. Good times!

Speaking of my morning walks, my pace and abilities are also on a continuous up and down depending on my treatment. Some days, when I am really feeling the effects of chemo or radiation, I am slow, have almost no stamina, and so I either go for less distance or it takes me forever. There have been a few times lately though, since I haven’t had radiation in weeks and I was mostly recovered from my last round of chemo, that I had a 15 min per mile pace. I know that may seem crazy to people that I even look at that or compare, but it gives me such a surge of hope that I can eventually get back my strength and stamina.

But like I mentioned, my physical abilities are on the rollercoaster ride of my treatment schedule, and just as I am starting to feel human again, I go back in for another round. That is why I laughed and had to screenshot the status of a friend on facebook that read, “I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.” Ha ha ha!!

And I am not the only one in the family that is dealing with all the rollercoaster of emotions and trials. We all are – they are just different. I try to tell people to remember that just because my hard is different from your hard, doesn’t mean your hard isn’t hard. All of us have hard things in this life, and we shouldn’t compare to each other, but instead, we should find ways to help, listen and lift those around us. I had to take a picture the other night as Lily and Arthur were cuddled up together, giving each other love and comfort. Right now, I don’t remember which one of them was upset, I just know that they were both blessed from showing love to each other.

And so there are so many extra highs and lows right now. For example, today I went in for another chemo treatment, but this was the final treatment in my course of care. From here on out it will be maintenance care (which will be mainly immunotherapy, with possible chemo in the future). So it was definitely a high and a low. A blessing at the same time as being hard. But I feel so incredibly blessed, because no matter where I am, in the highs or in the lows, I am not doing this alone. I have my family, my friends, and my loving Savior, Jesus Christ, right there with me to strengthen me.